Thoughts on Having a Baby Boy

Oh man, this poor neglected blog! I’ve currently got several half written posts saved up but haven’t had the time to put some thought into finishing them. With less than two months left to go before little man arrives, life has been pretty busy!

My husband as a little boy.

I wanted to share some thoughts I’ve been having about the fact that I’m going to have a little boy. It’s funny how, when you first find out that you are expecting, you begin to imagine who this little person is and who they will grow into. Not knowing one way or the other, you imagine both gender possibilities; all the things you’re going to get to do with either a little boy or a little girl. When Adam and I learned that our child was a boy, I was overjoyed, but I also felt a little intimidated. Of course I will (and do!) love whatever children we may have, but I was definitely a girly girl when I was little and didn’t have a lot of friends who were boys growing up. How on earth am I going to raise a little boy? It’s hard for me to imagine what this little man who carries half my DNA is going to be like!

Now that I’ve had a little time to let the news sink in, I’m very excited by the prospect of raising a boy! I’ve done a lot of thinking about the type of kid my husband was and how I would have loved to have known what he was like growing up. Well, here’s my chance!

I started doing some research on the internet to gain some insight, and I’ve actually been really surprised at how little there is out there on raising boys! What there does seem to be a lot of, are opinion posts on how to react if you suspect your little boy is gay*, or articles with an overly religious bend to them. While both can be important topics to consider in parenting, there do seem to be far more helpful articles out there on how to raise strong, confident girls (I’m all for some girl power, but have we forgotten that little boys still need guidance too?). Even more interesting, alongside the lack of information on raising well adjusted men, there appears to be an abundance of articles like this.  Since the news about the rape trial in Steubenville Ohio, quite a few articles have come out about how to raise your son to not be a rapist! A few of them are helpful (this one was ok) but does it really take a rape trial for people to want to write about what it takes to raise a son in this day in age?

I don’t envision our son growing up to be a mooch or a rapist (mooching rapist?). That is not the concern. What I want to be sure of though, is that I’m putting forth every effort to be the best mother I can be for him. So, I’ve compiled a list of the things I hope I can offer my son. Perhaps it’s premature, the prospect of becoming a parent is a daunting one and (while I realize no amount of research or planning can truly prepare me for it) I don’t think it’s ever to early to start thinking about the type of parent you want to be.  I thought it would be a useful reference for the future.

• I hope to instill in you a love of learning. I plan to do this by reading to you from an early age and taking you on lots of adventures. When you’re older, I’ll encourage you to go off and have adventures of your own. The world is pretty awesome, there’s a lot you can learn from what’s out there.
• I hope to teach you respect for others. With technology, the world is getting smaller than it was when when your father and I were kids. It’s best that we all learn to get along and consider each other’s point of view before jumping to conclusions.
•  I hope to help you figure out what your strengths and passions are. One of the most challenging things about growing up isn’t just figuring out what you want to do with your life, but also what you’re ABLE to do with it. We’re not all cut out to be super star athletes or Nobel Prize winning scientists. We’ll help you find out what YOU are best at and what makes YOU happy and we’ll do everything we can to see that that part of you is nurtured.
• While I want to help you succeed, I plan on doing this by also allowing you to fail. Failure is one of the best teachers in life and it will teach you things that I alone cannot.  It’s not my wish to micromanage your life and solve your problems for you. By allowing you to fail, my hope is that you will eventually learn perseverance and develop confidence in your own ability to solve problems.
• With that in mind, also know that it’s ok to ask for help when you need it. I myself am pretty guilty of forgetting this fact.
• We want to prepare you for adulthood, but a huge part of that is allowing you time to be a child first. I look forward to many hours of inspecting bugs, dressing up as super heroes and building forts out of couch cushions.
• I hope to prepare you, more than anything, to be a master of your own life. No one is ultimately responsible for you happiness but you.
• If I send you off to college not knowing how to do your own laundry and prepare a basic, healthy meal for yourself, I’ve failed as your mother.
• In the end, if you turn out anything like your father, I’ll consider my job a success.

Sorry if that just got a bit like a graduation speech! I’m sure this list will evolve and change over the years, but these are my thoughts for now. 🙂

*Of course I will love and accept him regardless of what his sexual preference turns out to be, but for now, he’s a baby and that is the farthest thing from my mind. We’ll cross that bridge when (and if) we come to it!

Finding my Strengths

A coworker of mine recently suggested that she, my other coworker, and I take this test; The Strengths Finder 2.0. I wasn’t sure what to make of it at first. I’d taken multiple personality tests in the past (Myers-Briggs anyone?) and while I found them interesting, I didn’t find the results particularly helpful either. I also find most self help books to be pretty hokey. The Strengths Finder test, I quickly learned, is less a personality test and more about helping people discover what their particular talents are, and then offers advice on how one can capitalize on these talents. In the intro to the book, the author points out that, throughout our lives, we are encouraged to improve upon our weaknesses, and, actually, very little attention is ever paid to making use of our strengths.

“At it’s fundamentally flawed core, the aim of almost any learning program is to help us become who we are not. If you don’t have a natural talent with numbers, you’re still forced to spend time in that area to attain a degree. If you’re not very empathic, you get sent to a course designed to infuse empathy into your personality. From the cradle to the cubicle, we devote more time to our shortcomings than to our strengths.” – Strengths Finder 2.0, pg 3

This struck a cord with me because I can definitely say, especially back in my school days, a lot of attention was placed on helping me be organized and improving my math score, two areas that I don’t come by naturally. For a long time I believed I would be held back in life if I couldn’t keep up with my classmates in certain subjects. In order to achieve what was seen as a passable grade in math, I usually had to work twice as hard as my peers. Since graduating high school, I’ve done very little math and, while I’m still far from an organized person, I’ve found work arounds that allow me to function just fine. Now that I am no longer graded on everything I do, I’ve been a lot happier since I can focus on the things that seem interesting to me and that I naturally enjoy.

Seeing my strengths individually named and explained was extremely helpful and has given me a greater understanding as to why I do things the way I do. Here’s how I scored:

1.Input – “Because of your strengths, you are ecstatic — that is, thrilled — when you read about a novel concept or an original theory. Probably, the hope of discovering a new way of thinking motivates you to read a lot. You enjoy collecting a variety of information. You sense that one day you will find a proper use for it.”

This made total sense to me since I’m definitely an information hoarder. I read and research topics all the time that usually have little or no practical value, at least initially. Actually, one of my goals for this blog is to use it as an outlet for all the information I’ve been hoarding!

2. Learner – “People who are especially talented in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.”

At first I thought this was the same as Input, but after giving it some thought realized that the process of learning new skills can be seen as inherently different from straight up information gathering. I do enjoy both, I just wouldn’t have initially thought to separate the two. It would be interesting to meet someone who scores highly in one but not the other and see how that manifests in their personality.

3. Strategic – “People who are especially talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues”

I didn’t immediately identify with this one. When I think of someone as being strategic, I think more of my husband and his fondness for strategy games. It also struck me as a strength that would match someone who is innately good at math and, well, I suck pretty hard at logic puzzles. However, I mentioned this to a few people who know me well and they pointed out several scenarios where I’ve had information thrown at me at a moments notice and I’ve been able to quickly decipher it and plan a method of completing the job. I tend to respond well in crisis situations where I have to make snap decisions and I always work better when under a deadline. Perhaps this is a strength I’ve taken for granted and haven’t fostered because I didn’t recognize it as a strength!

4. Empathy – “By nature, you frequently amuse people with stories, examples, or playful capers. Your style of delivery often distracts individuals from the mundane and numbing routines of their lives. Typically you know what to say and how to say it. Why? You are keenly aware of the full range of human emotions. Instinctively, you have a special gift for helping people realize that you truly value them and hold them in high regard.”

This one seemed obvious to me and didn’t come as a surprise at all. I’m always trying to read people and figure out where they are coming from. One of the reasons I was so into theater and acting in high school was because I was completely enthralled with getting to experience another characters emotions.

5. Ideation – “People who are especially talented in the Ideation theme are fascinated by ideas. They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.”

This is something I can recognize as a strength in myself but I had never seen it called out that way before. I’ve begun to notice myself using it when having conversations with other people. Someone will tell me a story and I will summarize it back to them using an analogy. It’s something I do a lot but never really thought about. I definitely use it in my artwork as well.

I would recommend this test to anyone looking to invest in themselves. While it could be very useful to young people who are just starting their careers ( I would have loved to have taken this when I was getting out of college) it’s also useful just in understanding yourself in day to day situations. One of my coworkers said it called to her attention the way her and her husband plan parties. One person is better at the big overall idea and the other is better at handling the finer details. Knowing this about each other could prove very useful! I really want my husband to take this test now to see if it helps us better understand certain aspects of our relationship.

Knowing your strengths can also help you manage your weaknesses. For me, I scored very high on learning, information gathering and concept creation. Useful, but these strengths can also leave a person fairly scatter brained and unfocused (surprise surprise). To manage that, the Strengths Finder suggested that I would work best with someone who scored well on Focus. Then that person can help me hone my strengths and make sure they get put to proper use.

What does everyone think? Would you take a test like this?

Easy Heartburn Tonic

I’ve never had much of an issue with heartburn in the past, but pregnancy can be a game changer in this department.  All of a sudden, I’ve been getting a little heartburn. For the most part, it hasn’t been so bad, but I had a few times last week where it was starting to get on my nerves. Enter, the homemade tonic.

I try to avoid taking Tums if I can help it because I’ve read that using any baking soda based remedy can actually encourage your stomach to make more acid! You’ll feel relief in the short term, but it can lead to more problems later. Apple cider vinegar, despite being acidic, actually has an alkaline effect on the stomach once it mixes with stomach acids.  Plus, if you use raw unfiltered ACV, you’ll get the added benefit of some beneficial bacteria with your tonic, which can only help with your digestion!

Here’s what you’ll need to make the tonic:

• 1/2 cup raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar

• 1 egg shell

Place the eggshell and vinegar in a glass jar and let it sit for about 6 hours. When the 6 hours is up, remove the eggshell. It doesn’t hurt to leave it in, but since the vinegar will eventually dissolve the shell, it starts to look a little gross. Immersing the eggshell in the vinegar adds some extra minerals (lots of calcium!) that will also aid with acid reflux.

To drink, add 1 tbl of the vinegar/eggshell mixture to an 8 oz glass of water. If you prefer, you can also add a dash of honey to the mix. Enjoy!

Honeymoon Part 2 – Cotopaxi

Cotopaxi National Park is a protected area about 17 miles south of Quito. It’s main attraction, Cotopaxi Volcano, is one of the highest active volcanoes in the world and the second highest in the country of Ecuador (about 19,347 ft at its summit).

When I found out that the hostel we were planning on staying at in Quito had a sister hostel in Cotopaxi, I decided it was a no brainer that we had to go for at least one night. Arranging transport between the hostels was easy. They do one routine trip between them once a week and if there is enough interest other days of the week they will do more. It cost $40 total each way for the van to go from one hostel to the next, and that cost was divided up amongst the passengers who wanted to travel that day. We got lucky that there was a lot of interest the week we were there so it only ended up costing us around $4-$5 per person each way for transport.

The Secret Garden Cotopaxi

If I had to do it all over again, I would have found a way for us to have stayed there longer. One night there wasn’t nearly enough. In order to get the full experience there I’d say you need at least 3 days, but more would be better. The reason we were in such a rush to get back to Quito was we wanted to make sure we could make it to the Saturday Market in Otavalo (next post!) and the days just didn’t line up to give us more time. That said, Cotopaxi is by far one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen! The landscape reminded me a lot of New Zealand because it was so lush and green.

But then you were reminded of the fact that you were in South America because there were llamas!

Llamas!!!

The hostel itself was absolutely beautiful, down to every detail. I wanted to live in their kitchen!

The beautiful kitchen at Secret Garden Cotopaxi

And there was a long table where everyone had their meals together. One perk of staying here is that meals were included. Overall I’d say the food was very good, but also highly vegetarian. If you’re someone who needs a lot of protein to feel full, you might want to make sure you pack some snacks before heading out this way. Once you’re there, you’re pretty much cut off from the outside world. No grocery stores and restaurants in Cotopaxi!

The Dining Area

A factor that I had considered but definitely didn’t give enough credence when planning the trip, was the altitude. The Secret Garden Cotopaxi was around 11,482 ft above sea level; by far the highest elevation I’ve ever been at.  The closest I’d ever come to that was a few years ago we went to the top of the Bear Tooth Pass in Montana, 10,947 ft. That was only for a couple of hours though and we had already spent some time on Montana at a slightly lower altitude to let our lungs adjust. We went to Cotopaxi a little over 48 hours after arriving in Ecuador! Quito, at 9,350 ft, didn’t give us much of a problem other than the occasional shortage of breath when walking uphill, so I thought we’d be fine! Oh how the mighty have fallen! Keep in mind too that I was recovering from the flu at that point and still extremely congested with a hacking cough. My oxygen intake was already compromised and then I went to a place where the air was thin. This wasn’t one of my most well thought out itineraries!

Sign naming all the peaks you can see from the hostel and their altitudes.

As a result, we took a more relaxed approach to how we spent our time there. We didn’t go on the group hike because I had a feeling I would be holding everyone back. Instead we went on our own excursion and took a long walk up the driveway (when you’re in a place as beautiful as this, that’s actually pretty exciting!).

Adam enjoying the hammocks at the hostel.

I really can’t describe how the air felt there. It was odd being at that altitude while also being so close to the equator. There wasn’t any snow except at the top of the highest peaks. Visually, it didn’t seem like we were that high. You could definitely tell when you tried to do anything active though. Walking ten feet there felt equivalent to running a mile. We barely made it half way up the driveway before turning back (to be fair, the driveway is nearly 6 km long), and afterwards we both felt like we had just run a marathon! In addition to being thin, the air was also extremely dry, which wasn’t helping my cough.

We also decided against going on the horseback riding trip we had originally signed up for. Neither of us had gotten any sleep the night before because I couldn’t stop coughing. There are much worse places spend a low key afternoon though. The hostel had self serve coffee and tea available all day (in addition to a refrigerator full of wine and beer for those able to partake!) and it was lovely to sit back in one of the hammocks on the patio and read a few chapters in my book while sipping a hot beverage.

It was also just fun to get to know the other travelers who were staying there. A good number of the people staying there had just gotten back from attempting to reach the summit of Cotopaxi and it was fascinating to hear about their experiences. Apparently the conditions hadn’t been very good that afternoon and only one guy from a party of 6 had made it to the summit. The guy we were talking to said the fog was so thick he couldn’t see two feet in front of him! For the summit tours, you would leave early in the afternoon to head up to the base camp. They would let you sleep for a couple of hours and then you would be awakened at midnight to start your assent. In order to reach the summit during daylight hours and still be able to make it back to the base camp before nightfall, you had to leave freakishly early.

Other activities the hostel offered was mountain biking, a jacuzzi, and an afternoon hike to a nearby waterfall.

The other wonderful thing was the big fireplace in the common room of the hostel. It was surprisingly chilly there, so there was nothing better than curling up by the fire after dinner. It took the poor girl in charge of it almost an hour to get it lit though because the air was so thin!

One sad fact was I was never able to get a photo of the actual volcano while we were there. On a clear day you get a clear view of Cotopaxi from the hostel, but for 3/4 of the time we were there it was obscured by clouds.

The morning we left, Cotopaxi did show itself for about 5 minutes while we were eating breakfast. Of course, I didn’t have my camera on me. Foiled!

Finally, there were animals!  This might not be so thrilling to some people, but I’m the grown adult who will fight small children to get a good spot at the petting zoo! The Secret Garden Cotopaxi is a bio-dynamic farm of sorts. A lot of the food they serve there is raised on the premises. As a result, they had an awesome garden as well as chickens, pigs and sheep.

Friendly piggy!

We pet the horses too since we didn’t get to ride them.

Altitude sickness aside, Cotopaxi was a huge highlight of our trip. The hostel lent itself to such a variety of experiences that your stay there can be as adventure filled or relaxing as you want it to be. I’ve been fortunate that I’ve never really had a bad hostel experience but this one was way above and beyond the others I’ve stayed at. I’m so thankful we were able to make it there and I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.

Thoughts on Pregnancy

Orville contemplates the belly.

I’ve officially made it to my 22nd week of pregnancy! That’s just past the halfway point so I thought it was time to do a post on how I’m feeling and handling the changes that come along with preparing for a new baby.

Before I was pregnant I think I had it in my head that preparing for a baby would be similar to how planning a wedding was. It is, after all, the next big step in life; one that has a lot of preparation, family involvement, and transitions. Having just come from one and then immediately into the other, I have to say it’s been a completely different experience.

At first, I had a hard time grasping the fact that I was pregnant. I was fortunate that, other than the occasional wave of nausea, I never had any morning sickness. I also didn’t really have any obvious symptoms of pregnancy either. There were the obvious indicators, (several positive pregnancy tests) that let me know logically that I was pregnant. Spiritually though, I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. I’m not really sure what I expected, but I just didn’t “feel” pregnant.

Early on, a part of me felt guilty because we hadn’t planned this. Adam and I had always talked about having children, and it was something we both knew we wanted, but we had also planned on giving ourselves a few years together as a married couple first! I always thought that when we decided to have children it would be something we decided together and then proceed accordingly. It was a very abstract notion and I hadn’t even begun to wrap my head around it. After I’d given the shock some time to sink in though, I felt rather fortunate that it happened this way. Having children is a huge step that I take very seriously, and there’s a chance it could have taken awhile for us to feel like we were ready. Sometimes diving in head first isn’t a bad way to go!

Around 17 weeks I finally started feeling movement. It was the first, solid, tangible evidence for me that there was a living, growing baby inside of me and it was awesome! That small, wiggly baby that I’d seen in the ultrasound was really in there! Feeling him kick made me feel like I could finally start to get to know this little person.

Once I felt him move the first time, I started feeling him move all the time. And soon after that, Adam was able to feel it too! Now, when people ask me how I’m feeling I reply that it “feels like I swallowed a squid!” As a result, we’ve started calling the baby Squid! It’s worked well since we’re not 100% on a name for him yet and it feels fitting.

This is all becoming real very fast. The thing that has helped me the most has been talking to other moms who have gone through or are going through the same thing. I have two friends that just had babies this past September and my sister-in-law just had her second baby in November.  Watching them handle their newborns has been a wonderful resource for me and has helped me visualize how I might be as a mother. My friend Susie has been inviting me to these monthly mommy support groups she goes to that have a huge focus on natural birth (which is the route I want to take if possible). That’s been great for me because a lot of times they discuss topics that I hadn’t even thought to research yet and I end up leaving with a ton of useful information. Audrey, another one of my friends, has started organizing an informal mommy meetup with our friends with kids and anyone else we know who is pregnant and I think that’s going to be extremely helpful. We’re hoping that the meet-ups will eventually evolve into a playgroup since all our kids will be around the same age.

The feeling of unpreparedness I had early in my pregnancy has been mostly replaced by (what many would probably call over preparedness)  the amount of reading I’ve been doing. Reading as much and talking to as many people as I can has really helped me gain confidence about transitioning into this next stage of life.

One thing that has surprised me is how much I like myself with a belly! My stomach has never been my favorite body part and I’ve always been self conscious about bearing my midriff. One would think that having an ever expanding abdomen would be making me crazy. I actually love it though! The backaches that come with it can be frustrating sometimes, but when I look in the mirror I feel satisfied with my new silhouette.

The farther along I get in this pregnancy, the better I’ve been feeling about it. I’m so excited to see which parts of each of our personalities he inherits and which parts are all his own. There have been plenty of moments where I’ve felt overwhelmed and generally in awe of this whole process, but I’m operating on the assumption that this is normal and embracing those feelings along with the positive ones. This is definitely going to be our next big adventure!

Surprise!

Oh man, I started this blog and I have not been good about updating it! So much has happened since Adam and I tied the knot that I’m not quite sure where to begin…

So let’s start with the biggest news first shall we!

That’s right! We’re expecting our first baby at the end of June! If it seems like that was fast…. it was! We were definitely surprised by the news but are so excited to be welcoming our little bundle of joy.  Needless to say, we’ve been very busy over the last couple of months preparing ourselves for this next great adventure. The fact that it came up a little quicker than planned has had us working even harder to make sure we’re ready for when the little guy (yep, it’s a boy!) makes his debut.

For now, the biggest priority has been making our house ready for the new arrival. Adam and I currently use the smallest room in the house for our bedroom and the other two rooms are used as my studio and his office/man cave. Our current room is going to become the nursery and Adam and I are going to merge offices and make the room that used to be his man cave into our bedroom.  This has required some sacrifice on both our parts (I sold my loft bed and am clearing out a fair bit of stuff from my studio and Adam is getting rid of a lot of furniture from his office) but I think this new shared arrangement will actually help keep us more organized in the long-run. When I lived in my small studio I felt I was much better at keeping clutter to a minimum because my small living space demanded it. Since living in our house I have allowed my studio to become the dumping ground for all things I didn’t have a place for and it had gotten to a point where it was becoming unmanageable.  Over the past couple weeks we’ve cleared out a LOT of unnecessary clutter (they pretty much know me at my local Goodwill now I’ve made so many donations!) and I’m hoping that the simple fact of us sharing a space now will force us both to keep the room clean out of respect for the other. As for the nursery and our new bedroom, I can’t wait til everything is cleared out and the decorating part can begin! Stay tuned, there will be posts on each room’s progress!

Secondly (and sort of along the same lines) we also have a new nephew! Baby Luke was born on November 26th, which is also Adam and I’s dating anniversary! I can’t wait to watch him grow up and I’m even more excited that my baby will have a cousin so close in age!

Thirdly, we finally went on our honeymoon!!! We vacationed in Ecuador over New Years and had an incredible time. Ecuador is such an amazing country; I feel we could have spent another two months there and still not have seen everything there is to see. It was such an awesome trip and I’m going to need to do more posts on each specific part of it in order to make sure I cover everything. For now though, I’ll leave you with some teaser pictures. 😉

We’re Married!!!

Hello world! Yesterday marked the one month mark from Adam and I’s wedding and I cannot believe how fast it went by!  To be honest a large part of this month has been spent coming to terms with the fact that 2012 did not end on September 22nd! So much of the past year was spent focusing on the wedding that it’s been a bit of a shock to suddenly not be working on it anymore.

While there will eventually be many many back entries on how the day itself went, right now I’d like to talk about everything that has happened since then. Let’s start with a list shall we:

• Two of my very dear friends both had babies… on the same day!!!  September 25th 2012 will be forever remembered as the day of the baby! There was a worry that one or both girls wouldn’t make through Adam and I’s ceremony (1 of them and her husband were both in the wedding party and their due date was our wedding day, we like to cram all of our life events into a weekend if possible!), but there were no issues and both babies and mommies came out just fine.

• One of my best friends from High School had her US wedding reception the Saturday after our wedding. It was a blast! Not only was if great for Adam and I because we got to talk to a lot of our friends that we’d missed at our wedding, but I also got to finally meet a lot if Irene’s friends from college. It was odd in the sense that there were a lot of people there who I recognized and knew a lot about, but had never actually met. A few people actually came up and introduced themselves because they were in a similar situation with me.

• We got a puppy!!! Ok, this was not planned, at all! Adam and I had decided to take a day trip up to Ellijay to go apple picking and, on our way up there, we saw a sign for pet adoptions. We decided that we could use some pet therapy and pulled over. An hour and a half later, we left the store with this little guy.

We named him Orville after Orville Wright ( Adam thought he looked like a vintage aviator). He has been an absolute dream dog! We’ve had him for two weeks and he’s already almost house broken and beginning to pick up a few tricks. He’s got the perfect amount of energy and yet poses no threat to our rabbit, Bruno (though the two of them aren’t exactly best friends yet I think it will come with time). In the short time he’s been around he definitely feels like a member of our new little family. I can’t wait to start dog school with him next week.

That’s all I got for now!

First Post!

Hello all! We’re Joanna and Adam and welcome to our blog! We’re newly-weds, veteran rabbit owners, recent puppy owners, foodies, DIYers, and all around goofy people. This blog is our attempt to document each of our projects and adventures together. Stay tuned!